Wondering....

Is it always different the 2nd time...the paperwork seems a little harder, but maybe that is because our life is so full. When we filled our paperwork out the first time...we didn't have much else to think about, but completing the paperwork. Is it different because there are so many "ifs", is it different because we really don't know if this will actually happen? Is it different because we have everything we could ever imagine needing for a child so there isn't any "pre-shopping" during the process.

I have thought about how it is different alot. We couldn't anticipate bringing a child home anymore than we do...but I think we are just guarding our hearts as it may not happen, but today I saw something a sweet little outfit at Gymboree and of course it had ladybugs on it and it was a "layette" type outfit...after we received Ellie Lu's referral I bought her a few similar things from Baby Gap...anyway I almost let myself buy these sweet little "threads" because the feeling I got imagining dressing "Ladybug II" was such a real and full feeling...but I had restraint and the clerk said they would likely have them until June...so there is time. I wouldn't want to buy something special like that until we know who our ladybug is...anyway it felt good thinking beyond the paperwork to actually being in China and meeting our little "bug".

Was up very late last night sending off for certified birth, marriage and divorce documents. Then I worked on our application letter and started a binder. I can't believe I just started the binder...oh my you should see the filing system I put in place for Ellie Lu's adoption of course once we got her referral...everything went to pot I am still catching up...will the paper ever end.

I need to send off my employment letter to Texas and get it authenticated and I need to have all or doctors fill out a different form for our medicals...as we used the home study form and we need to use the form required for our dossier...we just have a few things to get notarized locally and then I need to get them authenticated in Nashville and then off to Washington.

Well I guess there are now 51 days until Mel's birthday....we wait...we hope...we dream...