It Matters...

Up until this point it seems this adoption has been all about the paperwork and the checklist and the classes and JUST GETTING IT DONE to possibly have the chance, but today the doorbell rang it was UPS and I asked them to meet me at the garage...they had a large envelope package from the state of Tennessee and as I opened it while walking downstairs I saw the familiar blue cover on the authenticated documents and a tear streamed down my cheek...I would compare it to seeing the pregnancy stick turn blue or seeing your child's ultrasound for the first time...as I viewed this document my emotions emerged and I allowed myself to want this ALL to work out...and to anticipate Ladybug II. I had to stop and record this moment because for the last few months I have wondered and have not allowed myself to even really be excited afraid of the disappointment that may follow...but today I was and regardless of the outcome....it feels good to be excited and it matters...